A Guide for Relatives and Friends.
How has adoption changed during your lifetime? Discuss the pros and cons of these changes.
How do movies, books and television shows depict adoption and people who were adopted?
What are your expectations of a person who was adopted?
Discuss the role of the birthmother in adoption and in the lives of adoptive families.
Discuss loss in adoption and how it may be experienced by various participants in adoption (adoptive parents, adoptive child, birth relatives, other relatives and friends, communities, etc.). How might loss manifest itself initially? Over time?
What is your reaction to the book’s discussion of privacy? What boundaries are reasonable? What is unreasonable?
In On It devotes a chapter to "Talking About Adoption." Can you think of other postive things to say – or not to say – to an adoptive parent, an adoptee, or about adoption?
Do adoptive parents have a responsibility to educate others about adoption?
Did you recognize yourself (or others) in any of the stories or anecdotes within In On It?
How can adoptive parents work to build strong adoption circles for their families? What are some ways they can bring others in on it?
How can non-adoptive parents “normalize” adoption for their own children? How does this benefit adoptive children?
Should non-adoption professionals receive education around adoption (e.g., teachers, doctors, day care providers, etc.)?
How can people be adoption advocates in daily life?
Will you do anything differently after reading In On It? Do you think differently about adoption or adoptive families after reading the book? If so, how?
What questions do you still have for each other about adoption? About a particular adoption?