Thoughtful and engaging, O'Toole here offers up easy-to-read practical advice for close friends and loved ones of a newly adoptive family. Her insights brilliantly compile the extensive current literature and thinking on adoption, yet all the while O'Toole maintains a supportive, conversant style. She opens up the adoption dialogue in encompassing considerations from all sides of the triad - so that the adoption constellation can shine brightly for the adopted child. This book is not just helpful but necessary, given that the most recent studies by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute clearly demonstrate that what the relatives and close friends of adoptive families say or do about adoption matters greatly. Adoptive parents will want a copy for every grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin and friend who are about to be "in on it."
Elisabeth O'Toole's clear, insightful, and comprehensive guide to adoption is written expressly for and to a readership generally overlooked: the extended family and friends of new adoptive parents. Grandparents and neighbors anxious about what to say or do will be heartened by this fine book's conversational tone and generous spirit. They'd be wise to accept the welcome into "the adoption circle" that In On It extends. And adoptive families will be glad they cared enough to read it.
Cheri Register, author of "Are Those Kids Yours?" American Families
with Children Adopted from Other Countries and Beyond Good Intentions:
A Mother Reflects on Raising Internationally Adopted Children."
Author Elisabeth O’Toole, an adoptive mother of three, shares insider information with the friends, family, and others whose lives are touched by adoption but who are outside of the adoption triad of birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptees. Teachers, coaches, neighbors, doctors, clergy, and others who work with children will find this book extremely helpful in shedding light on a topic that is typically only fully understood by those immediately involved. Being “In on it” means taking away all the curtains and letting the world know what a wonderful, life changing, and positive experience adoption is today.
Patricia Dischler, adoption speaker and author of
"Because I Loved You: Understanding a Birthmother's View of Open Adoption"
Full adoption.com review here.
A needed reference for families and friends.
Abbie Smith, LCSW, Director of Clinical Services, Holt International
When someone you care about decides to adopt, you become part of the “circle,” too. With that perspective, this warm guide for friends and family sheds light on what the process is like for your loved ones, and how you can support them along the way. This is a great resource to offer when you share the news that you’re adopting.
Adoptive Families Magazine
Adoptive parents to be spend a lot of time getting educated on the ins and outs of adoption, yet ...up until now there has been little information available for soon to be adoptive grandparents, aunts and uncles to educate them on adoption. In On It is a welcome addition. I think it would be the perfect grandparent present to give when you announce your adoption plans.
Dawn Davenport, Executive Director of Creating A Family;
radio host and author of "The Complete Book of International Adoption"
In On It demonstrates how adoption is something both ordinary and extraordinary. The author, an adoptive parent herself, speaks to her readers with optimism, sensitivity and humor.
Emily Hollidge, LICSW, family therapist
Excellent. Practical and sensitive wisdom for anyone supporting a loved one’s adoption process.
Corrie L. Wold, MSW, LISW, Information and Education Director,
Children’s Home Society and Family Services
Terrific. Told with grace, humor and honesty, In On It should be essential reading for any one at any stage of their journey. Lawrence Morton, founder America Adopts! and Canada Adopts!